E-harmony???

Okay so it has been over a year since the big split and my heart has been shattered for much of that time. Yet each day I feel more and more whole. Never thought that would happen. I still miss John he was such a big part of my life, but I can sleep now and not dream of him. I can drive to work and not cry on the way. I can listen to love songs on the radio and sing along. I guess time is healing my wounds. I will always miss that part of me that was John. The void he left cannot be filled. It can however be patched.

I decided to try dating. UGGG. I don't have any local prospects and don't really have anywhere to meet someone. Our church just doesn't have any single men in the right age bracket. So I decided to do the online thing. I joined Christiansingles.com. I big don't do it there. All scammers no real people. That was just a waste. I also have a my space account, but no luck there either. I did yahoo personals, and I am starting to get some communication but not much. My problem is that I don't know how to express my true self in a computer generated thing. So I finally decided alright let's do e-harmony. So I joined. I got some matches right away. Based on blah, blah proven blah blah components of blah, blah--don't have the commercial memorized you can tell.

So had some communication with one person, but he said nope not the one. Then had other matches with no correspondence. Getting a little impatient. (Supposed to be working on that). So I prayed about it and told God I need some thing to happen now not later. And the next day a match came through. We have made it through almost all the preliminary steps. I am very nervous about it. He seems like a genuinely nice guy. Has a lot of the same values and stuff that I do. I guess that is the blah, blah components proven to do whatever. He said he loves to teach (me too), loves to travel (me too) loves kids (I have 3), etc. We also sent a list of must haves and can't stands to each other. Ours matched almost exactly--very freaky. So now we are almost at the point where we get to communicate outside of the choose a category stuff built into e-harmony. We are on the last step before that. I am really nervous now.

So he is not a hottie, but then neither am I. He is not John, but hey that didn't work anyway. So, God please guide this and help me and Stefan do the right thing. If this is what you want, help us to build on the right foundation. If not help me to wait your guidance.

I told John recently that he is my ideal and I didn't think I can ever replace him, can't find a new him. Maybe I can find a better model, just like he did.