More Frustration

Let me start with Amanda. Amanda signed up to play athletic tennis because she didn't want to play a different sport like basketball (way to agressive for her). So last night I went to a tennis meeting where I was informed that she needs a $100 racquet and needs to take tennis lessons and that I had to put a lot of time into the sport so she will excel. TIME who has that, MONEY I certainly don't have that. Ugg. After the meeting I talked to the coach and he is going to assess her and may put her in regular pe tennins. She has never played competitively so I am betting she has to do that. If not I have to worry about 6 tournaments and challenge matches. The first tournament is Sept. 12. I will be in Lubbock so Melissa or dad will have to be responsible for that.

Now for Cayla she failed the hearing thing again so now we have to go back for more tests. I just don't know what to think about that. I worry and yet I can't do anything about it so why worry. I just hope surgery fixes that problem too. You can read more about that on her blog...wreathoflaurel.blogspot.com.

Zane is doing okay. But he is at that stage where he wants mommy's attention and will do anything to get it. Like pooping in his pants or biting me on the shoulder. I try to make sure we have our time at night after Cayla goes to bed, but it isn't always enough.

Now for the big frustration... John. Boy I bet no one saw that one coming. He got my letter asking him not to come but it was somehow confusing. I had said how much I need him to be there but because I don't need the stress I don't want him to come. He says he wants to come but won't know until the end of the month if he can. I say he ain't coming and he just doesn't want to admit it. I am just tired of taking his feelings into consideration. His mom even thinks I need to consider Mary's feelings. I say bull... They didn't think about me so why should I worry about them. So anyway, I told Carol that I would inform her when Zane's party is and they are welcome to come but otherwise I am through. I just can't do it anymore. It is too upsetting to me. Especially when we had set up times for the kids to go to her house so John could talk to them and then when we have to change it, it sounds like it was my fault. Plus I have to hear about how John would talk to me but can't because all we do is fight. So I am through talking to any of them. She actually said today so you want to do it all alone and I said what do you think I am doing. I already do it all alone. I feel like I should just go to surgery alone too. It is too stressful to worry about who is coming and where they will stay etc. How will Amanda get back for school and what will I do with Zane during surgery.

Okay enough venting. I am also frustrated because I still don't have a job so more uncertainty. One thing is for sure I am going to a mommy baby get together with people from my fit moms class tomorrow. It will be fun. I can't wait. Then the next thing to look forward to is undoing all the things I did last year. A little sad to see it all come down. But people are tired of it. So two things are certain the party and the work ahead. I guess that is better than death and taxes.