The big C

Cancer has been a household word in my world for a long time. I guess since I was about 6 years old. My mom had breast cancer for the first time then. When I was 24, she had her second round and then when I was 30 it happened again. I lost my mom to this horrible disease when she was only 61, and I was 33 (actually about 3 weeks before my 33rd b-day). So I know what it is like to be on the outside looking in on cancer. I also know that it effects all those that love the person with the cancer. But because I have experienced so much due to cancer, I am not as afraid of it as I once was. I just think, hey do what you have to in order to beat it.

All that is to say, my husband has cancer. Yes, he is my soon to be ex-husband, but for now he is my husband. I hate that he is having to face this alone, but then again he has a girlfriend to support him, so I guess he is not alone. I just wish he would have allowed me to support him through this. He was so good to me through my mom's last battle, I wish I could return the favor. I don't know all the details and probably never will. I just know he has had surgery and is being treated. I should feel some kind of vindication, like so if you think with your penis maybe it will fall off--but I just feel bad for him. I know this has really thrown him. I will just pray he is soon healed and happy.

I guess that for whatever reason, God is determined for cancer to be a part of my life. Thankfully I haven't had to deal with it personally--yet. Everything happens for a reason. I guess that is why I have been able to carry this child to term and why she is apparently healthy. There is a slim chance that John's cancer could affect his fertility. But I bet he tests that one out really soon. So before I know it he will be having a child with someone else. I guess I just need to prepare for that.