Bigger than average

The baby is bigger than average and is causing me lots of pain. I had to go to the hospital on Monday to be monitored for contractions. Of course the nurse said there was nothing going on, but boy was I in pain. I really haven't felt well the rest of the week. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and a sonogram. The sonogram showed the baby to be 4lbs and 1 oz and about 15 inches long. The doctor thinks that is causing my pain. She is just bigger than normal. Of course Amanda was 8 lbs 9 oz. So I guess I just have big girls. It is hard for me to pack and be in pain at the same time. Plus I think I have sinus stuff going on. Maybe because it has been 80 degrees all week and now it is 30. John is not getting Zane this weekend, so I will have to pack around him. Not fun. I miss John a lot, but I am frustrated with him at the same time. I just wish we could spend some time together and see how things would be. For the kids if nothing else. I had a talk with his "friend" Mary this week. She admitted that they are dating and that she feels guilty. Oh how I wish she would back off from him and let me have a chance. But if wishes were money I would be rich. I just have to resign myself to the fact that it is over. I hate the thought of being alone forever. I guess that is God's plan for me though.