Cayla Update

Cayla is 12 days old today. She is doing great, but keeping me awake at night. I am hoping to settle into a routine this week. Zane needs to get back on schedule too.

It has been an emotional roller coaster ride around here. With all Cayla's problems, then a clean bill of health, her coming home day was hard on me emotionally. It was hard on John too as he was so scared for her. He has been getting radiation treatments, but finished yesterday. The treatments made him very sick the night of Cayla's birth. I felt really bad for him. I asked him if we could try one more time before calling it quits for good and he said no. I was an emotional wreck and so was he. He didn't get to drive us home--thank goodness for Aunt Sissa. But he did come to see her a couple of times.

Now for the big shocker. John's girlfriend took a job in New York and John left with her yesterday. He didn't even tell anyone he was going. He just dropped off his pickup at my house, filled with all of Zane's stuff. He didn't tell anyone good bye. I am still in a state of disbelief that he left the kids. I had asked him about Mary leaving on Thursday and if he was going with her. He never said yes. I was quite devestated to learn he is gone for good. If i had known it was the last time I would see him, I would have taken a picture for Cayla's baby book. Zane doesn't understand. I am still very sad.

Zane woke up with pink eye today, Cayla is fussy and John is gone. How horrible is that? Happy Easter to us, huh? On the upside, Cayla went to church for the first time today. I actually made it through the service. That was the first time since January that I was able to attend church. I have to rely on God for everything now. I think what upsets me so much is that John abandoned the kids and I will be alone forever. I miss having a companion. But must concentrate on the kids. Please pray for my family. Pray for John too, as he is out of his mind. He didn't even tell his boss he was leaving.

More later.

Cayla Becca Ann

Cayla Becca Ann was born on April 4 at 11:27 a.m., weighing 8 lb., 8 oz. and was 20.5 inches long.

There was a little scare early on about her not being able to breathe and eat at the same time and also a place on her skull that they thought had not developed properly, but the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and everything is fine now. Both baby and mama are at home trying to get into a routine.

Aunt Sissa was there for the labor, which got really intense when the Pitosin kicked in. It was fine for Sissa until they brought the epidural and for some reason it just did not agree with her and she almost fainted. John came about 15 minutes after the epidural, so he stayed for the delivery while Aunt Sissa stayed in the waiting room with Grampy (Becky thought it would be better for me). Cayla got stuck while being pushed (broad shoulders), so another nurse had to come in and push on Becky's stomach to help push the baby out. She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her body and she had to have oxygen, but she was given to Becky after she was born. They took her away to clean her up a little and do vitals, and then brought back to Becky. She breast fed a little and then they took her away again. That's when they discovered her breathing while eating troubles and they kept her in the intensive care nursery for the rest of the time she was there until yesterday morning.

That's all Aunt Sissa can report at the moment. I'll write more later when there's more time. There should be pictures attached to this blog! Keep your fingers crossed!

Please keep Cayla in your prayers as well as mom, dad, Amanda, Zane, Grampy and the rest of the family.

Counting Down

Back from my 38 week appointment and still hanging in. I was hoping to have dilated some after having contractions over the weekend, but no--still just over a one. Now it is a countdown to Thursday.

Have to be at the hospital at 5 am. They will start everything, the doctor will break my water and then we will have a baby. I am hoping for a quick labor and easy delivery. The baby may have other ideas.

I am growing very anxious. Ready to hold the baby. Ready to have the labor over with. Scared to have the labor. Scared to hold the baby. Just nervous.

I will be glad when it is all over!!! Then I can settle into a routine.

Hope the next post is one filled with news of the labor and delivery and a healthy baby.

Becky's blog

A daddy's hug can be a tremendous blessing. Last night when John brought Zane back, Amanda went on the porch to meet him. John came onto the porch, reached out, hugged her and said "I miss you." I thought it was the sweetest thing he had done in a long time. When Amanda came in I asked if she had hugged him, and she said no he hugged me. She misses her "daddy" even if she doesn't say so. She has been mad at him for abandoning her. He is the only dad she has ever known and this has been hard on her.

John took Zane to his moms to spend the night Saturday, and then he spent the night with Mary. I was a little perturbed by that and just don't get it. But at least he didn't spend the night with her while he had Zane, that is a start.

I am off to my doctor's appt. I had contractions over the weekend so I am anxious to see if I am past a one and a half. My cousin's daughter (okay so it is the daughter of her ex-husband--but she raised her so we still claim her) is due any minute also. It will be interesting to see who delivers first!! My aunt can't really come here to see my baby until her "great-grandchild" is born. More later.